


Not Quite In Proportion

by Thatsrightmyhype



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Comeplay, Crack, Drunk Party Games, George and Alex can't be trusted, M/M, Never Have I Ever, Praise Kink, Shameless Smut, big dick energy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:08:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25801111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatsrightmyhype/pseuds/Thatsrightmyhype
Summary: During a game of 'Never Have I Ever', the drivers learn something very interesting about Lando's body proportions.Carlos gets to learn a bit extra about them more intimately.
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Comments: 9
Kudos: 125





	Not Quite In Proportion

"Okay, so, never have I ever,' Daniel says, laughing loudly at the chorus of groans he gets in response, 'Come on guys, it's fun!"

"No it's not,' Seb complains from where he's been nursing his beer in the corner, 'Everyone already knows too much about each other, it just gets specific."

"Come on, our new little drivers haven't experienced the tradition yet,' he reasons, gesturing to Lando, George and Alex who are sat together beside the coffee table, all in various stages of drunkenness but seemingly enjoying themselves.

"I want to play!' Lando says loudly and seriously, looking pleadingly at Seb, 'Please, please pleeease!"

Seb rolls his eyes and shrugs.

"I guess so but don’t say I didn’t warn you."

"Excellent, let's get started!' shouts Daniel, catching the full attention of all the other drivers in his hotel room, 'Never have I ever thrown up in a bath tub!"

Max gives him the biggest glare as he sips his drink.

"You are such an arsehole Dan, you make it sound so much worse than it was!"

Dan laughs loudly, as do the other drivers and Max rolls his eyes, thinking he should've known better than to participate in this evening of heavy drinking in Dan's hotel room.

"Anyway, it's your turn,' Dan says.

"Never have I ever,' he pauses, completely drawing a blank on what to say before settling on an easy one, 'Had sex."

The other drivers groan at the basic attempt but all take a sip anyway. All of them except for a nervous-looking Lando.

"Lando?' Max asks, drawing everyone's attention to the young driver who is turning more and more red by the second.

He takes a quick sip but it’s already too late by this point, the other drivers looking at him with varying degrees of surprise. There’s a moment of awkward silence before Lando suddenly launches into a drunken explanation.

“It’s not that I’ve done nothing,’ he says, face turning redder by the second, ‘I’ve had, like…blowjobs and stuff, just not gone all the way.”

There’s some quiet sniggering coming from all directions as Lando groans into his hands.

"Aww, baby Lando,' Dan says, walking over to him and giving him a back hug,'It's okay, one day you'll hit puberty and you'll have all the Big Dick Energy you could ever want!"

"He doesn't need anymore big dick energy,' Alex mutters quietly and George nods solemnly in response while Lando removes his hands and turns to them with a betrayed look, seeming to be more embarrassed by what they’re obviously about to say than being outed as a virgin.

"What was that?' Dan asks, cocking his eyebrow.

"He's already got a massive dick,' Alex says just as seriously as before but to the whole room this time, 'He doesn't need it to be any bigger."

George is nodding enthusiastically while Lando looks like he wants the ground to swallow him whole. A heavy silence fills the room.

"Is that true?' Kimi asks from where he's perched on the sofa next to a curious-looking Sebastian and Lando groans loudly.

"Never have I ever had a dick longer than fifteen centimetres,' Charles says boldly, obviously already very drunk.

Lando drinks along with a few of the other drivers, looking down at the floor the whole time.

"Never have I ever had a dick longer than twenty centimetres,' Kimi says and Lando drinks again.

"Twenty-five?' Seb says incredulously and once again, Lando takes another sip.

"Thirty?!' Dan asks and Lando finally doesn't drink, face crimson and pouting but not upset beyond that.

"Why didn't you ever tell me about your monster penis young Lando?' Dan asks and Lando groans.

"It's not a monster penis!' He says, sounding exasperated and taking a large swig from the bottle nearest to him to calm his nerves, ‘It’s just…bigger than average.”

George and Alex are laughing heartily at his expense and Lando wants nothing more than to literally be vaporised out of existence. Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door that Daniel goes to answer and in walks Carlos, smiling widely when he sees Lando and taking a seat next to him.

“Sorry I’m late,’ he says, ruffling Lando’s already quite ruffled hair while the man in question half-heartedly bats the hand away, ‘What did I miss?”

“Well, we found out about Lando’s MASSIVE cock,’ Daniel supplies helpfully and Lando hits him on the arm, ‘Did you know anything about this?”

Carlos looks at his teammate carefully.

“You never told me about this,’ he says and Lando is honestly questioning if this night can get any worse, ‘Why did you never say?”

“I didn’t think it was relevant?’ Lando says in a squeaky voice and Carlos hums thoughtfully.

“It would’ve been good to know Cabron,’ he says, ‘It would help me to set you up with the ladies, eh?”

“He’s also a virgin,’ Charles slurs from the other side of the room.

“Ay, my friend, you have a gift!’ Carlos exclaims while Lando downs the rest of his beer and opens up another can, draining half of that as well, ‘I’m surprised that all the ladies are not chasing you down!”

“Can we please, pleeeease move on?’ Lando pleads.

“But we finally are talking about something interesting,’ Kimi says in his usual deadpan.

“Let us go easy on young Lando,’ Carlos says, holding up his hands, ‘Now we know his secrets, we can tease him in the future but for now we stop.”

“Fine, but we’re not going to learn anything more interesting or juicy than that,’ Daniel says, wiggling his eyebrows at Lando who tries to make himself even smaller in his seat.

“Move on, move on,’ Carlos says to the Australian who rolls his eyes.

“Fine you killjoy, never have I ever streaked through a hotel corridor while absolutely drunk as a skunk,’ Daniel says, laughing out loud when Max downs his drink while giving him the finger.

No-one but Lando notices Seb drinking as well.

The night continues in a similar vein. Lando is pleased that everyone seems to forget the information he had shared with them earlier but is still dreading the teasing that this night will result in. Daniel ends up passed out in his chair and Max manages to hustle everyone out to save his dignity and stop Alex and George from writing ‘TWAT’ on his face with a permanent marker they somehow managed to find.

“Don’t come back,’ Max says, slamming the door in all their faces and officially ending everyone’s evening.

“Well that was fun but I guess it’s time for bed,’ Sebastian says to the rest of the group, rubbing his hands and shooing them along.

Lando leaves the hotel with Carlos, the pair of them chatting quietly about nothing in particular until they reach their own hotel. They make their way up to their rooms but Carlos stops in front of Lando’s instead of his own.

“Not quite tired,’ he says as an explanation when Lando raises an eyebrow, ‘Fifa?”

Lando rolls his eyes but let's Carlos inside anyway, stripping off the t-shirt that he definitely spilt some beer down when he was trying to drown out his embarrassment with alcohol and stumbling to the bathroom to wipe himself clean. When he comes back, Carlos has stripped down to just the shorts he was wearing and is lying on the bed, flicking through TV channels with slightly unfocused eyes.

“As soon as I lay down, I began to feel how drunk I was,’ he says when Lando gestures to the untouched playstation, ‘No Fifa, just TV.”

“Alright boss,’ Lando says, laying down on the bed a careful distance from his teammate; close enough to feel the heat radiating off of his skin but not so close that they’re actually touching.

Lando can’t help but look at Carlos, his tipsy eyes not as afraid to observe as his sober ones. Carlos is smiling widely at him, his eyes half-lidded and content. He props himself up on his elbow and Lando is reminded of how wonderfully manly Carlos is with his wonderfully toned chest and the trail of hair leading all the way down it into his shorts. It makes Lando feel small but safe as he leans over him.

“Are you okay Cabron?’ Carlos asks, using his free hand to cup Lando’s face and tilt it towards him, ‘I know it was a little bit much at the party but-“

“Don’t remind me,’ Lando cuts in, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his hands, ‘That was so embarrassing.”

“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about,’ Carlos says, holding Lando’s wrist and pulling it away from his face so their hands rest entwined between them.

There’s a moment of silence in which the pair just stare at each other. Lando can feel a tension between them. He’s not quite sure why but he just can’t pull his eyes away.

“Can I see?’ Carlos asks in a curious, kind of breathless way that knocks all the air Lando had been holding in his lungs straight out of him.

“W-what?’ He asks, heart rate rising and dick definitely twitching.

Carlos has the audacity to just shrug.

“I’m very curious about your massive penis,’ he says with a lop-sided smile, ‘Don’t worry if you don’t want to.”

“Only if you show me yours,’ Lando replies breathlessly and he has no idea where that spark of confidence came from but he can already feel his cheeks burning, ‘No, that was stupid, I-“

“Okay,’ replies Carlos, ‘That’s only fair. I’ll go first.”

Before Lando even has a chance to contemplate his teammate’s words, Carlos is pulling his shorts and briefs down in one quick move. He tosses them over his shoulder and Lando is facing the vision that is Carlos completely naked. He tries to avoid looking straight at his crotch but his eyes automatically follow the line of jet black hair down to Carlos’ groin. Nestled between his legs sits his cock, semi-hard and surrounded by a well-kept cushion of hair. Lando’s mouth waters.

“It’s not too bad, no?’ Carlos asks, wiggling his eyebrows and Lando chokes out a laugh.

“Not the worst cock I’ve seen,’ Lando manages to joke, to which Carlos rolls his eyes dramatically.

“Have you seen many cocks Lando?’ Carlos asks and although his voice is still even with curiosity, the octave has dipped a little bit.

Lando gulps.

“Only in porn really,’ he replies, ‘And Alex and George’s when we got drunk once and they wouldn’t shut up about how because I was so small I probably had a tiny dick. Drunk Lando wouldn’t let them have that one.”

Carlos laughs heartily and Lando’s eyes shoot straight back down to his crotch where his prick bounces happily along with every one of Carlos’ movements.

“I was wondering how they knew,’ he says, smiling, ‘So which one of them has the better-looking penis?”

Lando blames alcohol for the fact that he’s seriously thinking about his answer.

“Well they are actually both pretty long,’ he says thoughtfully, feeling his dick harden even further and squirming in place, ‘But George’s is a bit thicker so I’d have to say him.”

When Lando looks up at Carlos’ face to see his reaction, he’s smiling but there’s a crease to his eyebrows.

“Yours is better looking than both of them though,’ he adds hastily and the frowning brows disappear.

“I’m happy to hear it,’ Carlos replies and he certainly does look pleased with himself before adding, ‘If you don’t want to show me yours anymore Lando, that’s okay. I am just curious is all.”

Lando bites his lip. He’s scared to show Carlos his dick, not because he’s embarrassed by it, but because all this talk of it (even though he says things so casually) is making him almost unbearably hard. Carlos gives him a reassuring smile and a pat on the arm as if to say ‘It’s okay, don’t worry’ and Lando pulls off his shorts and pants before he can even think twice.

“Dios mio,’ Carlos breathes out, breath loud and uneven as he just stares straight at Lando’s dick.

Lando knows it looks a bit ridiculous in proportion to his slight body, especially where he’s now hard, but he can’t help but feel a little pride in the way Carlos looks on reverently, as if it’s a true reward to see Lando’s dick. Carlos’ eyes meet his and he can’t help the little smile that comes to his face at the expression he sees there.

“Can I touch you?’ Carlos asks and if Lando thought he was hard before, he had no idea.

“O-only if I can touch you too,’ He says, not quite able to believe the words coming out of his mouth.

“Please,’ Carlos breathes out, closing his eyes to compose himself before focusing in on Lando once again.

Carlos reaches out tentatively first, brushing his hand down Lando’s side and across his hip, thumb brushing over the bone. Lando copies his movements, both of them never taking their eyes off each other. Carlos’ hand moves lower, fingers barely brushing over Lando’s shaft but causing his breath to hitch and eyes to flutter closed all the same. Lando trails his hand through dark hair before gently clasping his hand around Carlos, humming appreciatively as his fingers wrap around velvet flesh. Carlos breathes out shakily before doing the same to Lando, merely ghosting his clasped fist over his dick.

“Fucking hell Carlos,’ Lando whimpers, unable to contain himself and shivering in the other man’s hold.

“So sensitive already,’ Carlos whispers with a smirk, ‘You are so beautiful Lando.”

Lando bucks up into the touch, Carlos’ words already pushing him to the brink of his sanity. Carlos moves his hand mouthwateringly slowly, his fingertips tracing over every bump and vein along the way. Lando attempts to do the same but the coordination between his brain and his hand is rapidly deteriorating and he can’t help but move a little more jerkily in comparison to Carlos’ smooth strokes.

“Breathe Lando,’ Carlos whispers, closer to his face than he was before and Lando does as he’s told, not realising that he’d been holding his breath, ‘That’s it, good boy.”

Lando’s hips buck into Carlos’ fist of their own accord and the whine he lets out comes across to him and pathetic but Carlos merely smiles kindly.

“Ah, I see,’ he says cryptically, as if he’d just solved a puzzle, before leaning in impossibly closer, ‘You are doing so well Lando. Now relax your hand on my cock. That’s it, you’re amazing.”

Lando keens and focuses on doing as Carlos asked, loosening his grip. He squeezes his toes in an attempt to distract him from the fact that he feels on the brink of orgasm already but it doesn’t help as much as he would like.

“I’m so blessed to get to see you like this,’ Carlos says, raising his clean hand from where it had been lying under him to cup Lando’s face and run a thumb gently across his cheek, ‘You are being such a very good boy for me.”

Lando cries out and can’t hold back any longer. His stomach clenches as he thrusts in Carlos’ fist, his orgasm rippling through every single part of his body. He’s vaguely aware of the older man whispering more praises to him and his own hand becoming soaked with come but he can barely focus on anything except his own pleasure. Once he finally stops seeing stars behind his eyes, he opens them to find Carlos’ contented expression looking back at him. He smiles back shyly and nestles his face into the hand that is still cupping his cheek.

“I-I’m sorry,’ he manages to get out, embarrassment washing over him at just how quickly this had all been over for him.

“No, no! Don’t say sorry! I finished as well, right? You were so wonderful Lando,’ Carlos says quietly with a sigh, ‘Such a beautiful reaction from a beautiful boy.”

Lando groans and shifts over onto his side, fully aware now that he is covered in spunk and annoyed that his dick is still twitching at Carlos’ words.

“You can’t say things like that to me when I’m trying to calm down,’ he says, giving Carlos a light-hearted kick in the shin before standing up to get them some tissues, ‘I’ll never stop having an erection.”

“Hmm, I see your point,’ Carlos replies, standing up and following Lando to the bathroom.

Lando tries not to notice the way Carlos’ come paints his abs, dripping down his snail trail in a way that makes his stomach tighten but he obviously fails. Carlos sees him looking and runs a single finger through the mess, bringing it to his lips and sucking it off with an over-dramatic pop.

“Fucks sake Carlos,’ Lando whines, turning away from the other man as his dick very obviously twitches in interest, ‘Save that shit for next time.”

“There’ll be a next time?’ Carlos asks, circling his arms around Lando’s middle and pressing his front to the younger man’s back.

He trails a hand through the mess on Lando’s stomach, smearing it over muscle and Lando knows that objectively what’s happening is kind of gross but he’s so keyed up on the high of his orgasm that he can’t see it as anything but super fucking hot. He can feel the wetness of Carlos’ own body against his back but it’s so filthily arousing he can’t stop himself from leaning into him, his ass grinding on Carlos’ cock which also seems to have perked up once more at what they’re doing.

“Please,’ Lando says, ‘Lots of next times.”

Carlos chuckles in his ear before moving his hand up to Lando’s mouth, his fingers shiny with come.

“Then be a good boy for me and suck them clean,’ he whispers and Lando moans, taking two fingers in his mouth at once and sucking on them as if his life depends on it.

He brings his hands up to circle Carlos’ wrist, moving it around to get the best angle and clean off all the come that’s there, even darting out his tongue to get the gaps between his fingers.

“You are doing such a great job Lando,’ Carlos whispers against the shell of Lando’s ear, ‘But we have to be careful not to make another big mess, right?”

Lando nods, too preoccupied with sucking on Carlos’ long fingers to really pay much attention to anything else. Carlos pulls his hand away, circles Lando around and brings him close, cupping his face with his now slightly-more-clean hand. Slowly, he inches forward until his breath is ghosting across Lando’s lips.

“Do you want to kiss me baby?’ Carlos asks him in a low voice and Lando’s breath hitches.

“Yes,’ Lando breathes out before leaning in and closing the gap between them.

He slings his arms over Carlos’ shoulders, pulling him as close as he physically can. Carlos makes a happy noise and Lando can feel his smile against his mouth. He pulls away and is greeted by the trademark Carls grin.

“You are perfect,’ Carlos says brightly, his eyes half-lidded and his smile bright, ‘Now let’s get you cleaned up.”

Carlos pulls away but grasps Lando’s hand, leading him the rest of the way to the bathroom and stepping into the shower. Lando follows enthusiastically, the prospect of ‘next time’ being more like ‘right now’ putting a little spring in his step.

*

Lando gets out of the car, stretching his muscles and accepting all the congratulations from his teammates. He’s over the moon, having just secured P5 for tomorrow’s race and he can’t help but smile as he makes his way through the garage, accepting several fist bumps and pats on his back. Suddenly, Carlos is in front of him, free of his helmet and smiling down at him.

“Congratulations Cabron,’ he says good-naturedly, patting Lando on the arm and then holding it there, ‘P5! Great job.”

Lando can feel himself blushing and tries to will it away. He is, after all, a professional and he’s going to try and act like one.

“Not so bad yourself,’ Lando replies, ‘P7, we’ve still got some good opportunities to go for bigger points.”

Lando feels a bit like he’s putting on some kind of show, like these are all the words he’s supposed to be saying. However he can see there’s definitely something a little more dangerous and seductive in Carlos’ eyes. His suspicions are confirmed when the Spaniard leans in a little closer.

“My hotel room later?’ He asks and Lando gulps.

“Of course,’ he replies, eyes zeroing in on Carlos’ now-smirking lips.

“Excellent,’ he says, ‘Good boy.”

Lando hits him on the arm.

“Not here you shite,’ he says but he’s giggling anyway and Carlos is grinning.

“Okay, okay,’ Carlos concedes, ‘I’ll see you later then.”

Lando rolls his eyes but nods anyway, giving Carlos one last smile before walking in the opposite direction. He’s glad that he decided to wear tight pants today: hopefully they’ll contain the slight, anticipatory erection he knows he’s going to have for the rest of the afternoon.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy race weekend everyone! I've been wanting to write something with a game of Never Have I Ever for ages as it's one of my favourite tropes and then this is what happened. I was thinking this would just be a one-shot but I've had a couple of ideas on pairing Lando with other drivers in a little series based on this. If you'd like to see more like this, just drop me a comment on any pairings or situations you'd like to see as I am always on the lookout for more smut inspiration haha. Thanks again for reading this and any comments/kudos literally keep me going through these pretty shitty times so are massively appreciated! Stay safe!


End file.
